Why did I find it so difficult to make a decision when I was drinking? I believe that as alcoholics we do not like making decisions. We would rather sit there with all our options open waiting for the divine to intervene and give us the answer, and for it to land fully-formed on our laps without us having to go through the uncomfortable feeling of having to decide. That decision, incidentally, according to Eric Fromm, is the same ‘decide’ as in suicide. That makes perfect sense to me: I’m sure we believe that by making a decision we’re “killing off” half our options. So, instead, we leave all our options open – and then complain that things don’t happen in our lives, that our lives don’t move forward.
I believe there are no wrong decisions today – only new opportunities for me to learn and grow. Indeed, some of my worst decisions (at the time) have turned out to be my biggest blessings. I wouldn’t be sitting here writing this blog if it weren’t for a big “mistake” I made all those years ago when I decided that I could handle just one last drink.
This day offers many challenges and many choices. I can successfully handle all possibilities. Abstaining from life is not an option for people like you and me.