Saying goodbye and moving on...

Yesterday, Thursday 7th October, I travelled the 60 or so miles down to Bridgeport, Connecticut. My first appointment, at Dr Marcus McKinney’s suggestion (read Blog no. 4. ‘An early morning appointment with Dr Marcus McKinney’), was with Mary Green, Executive Director of the Park City Initiative Corp., a faith-based, non-profit community development corporation. Its initiatives are many and varied: Adopt-a-Block is about revitalizing the neighbourhood and engaging the community by organising teams of children and adults to clean blighted areas and transform their living environment; the Food Pantry provides nearly 6,000 meals to over 1,000 people each month and its mobile unit distributes food to those in need throughout the city; the Park City Metro Kids mobile street outreach unity, brings interactive theatrical sessions to over 1,000 children throughout the city, offering life-skills training through songs, games, and lessons in a manner that is accessible to all youth.

I was there, however, to see its Resource Advocacy Programme (RAP) at work. Staff and volunteers work to ensure that people have enough food to eat, a place to live and assistance managing life’s difficult situations including addiction and unemployment.

When an individual is referred to the RAP, Park City Initiative (PCI) Case Managers work with them, advocating on their behalf and providing critical referrals to community resources. Life coaching, peer counselling and support groups are offered to allow for individual growth. In just three years PCI’s Resource Advocacy Programme has served over 350 individuals.

I met Grace Ricks, Tinesha Malachi, Lucy Marriso, Yolanda Hopkins, Lenny Walters and, of course, Mary Green. They all passionately testified to the transformative power of God in their lives, with many of them now Case Managers themselves and “giving it (recovery) away in order to keep it”.

I reminded myself how important it is to try to support everyone in making a commitment to a recovery path that works for them.

I must admit that I was moved to tears seeing these committed people at work ministering to the poor and needy in their community - their sole motivation being to help others out of gratitude for being “saved” themselves.

Over a salad lunch in a nearby diner I read how consumers who want to support breast cancer research can now do so by buying alcohol. Chambord, which markets pink vodka and liqueurs, urges people to “pink their drink”, saying that “by adding a splash of Chambord to any cocktail, they’re supporting breast cancer awareness year-round”.

I was relieved to read that at least one breast cancer charity is walking away from alcohol-related gifts. I trust it won’t be too long before they all do!

Then it was down to the Bridgeport Recovery Community Centre and to a warm welcome from Michael Askew, the Manager, and Luis Rivera, Volunteer Coordinator. This is the Bridgeport offshoot of CCAR, in Hartford. And the centre offers a variety of programmes ranging from Computer Training Courses; Peer-to-Peer Smoking Cessation Programmes, to a new partnership, ReEntry Works, which helps people succeed in the workplace after imprisonment.

The centre also offers training for people wanting to become Recovery Coaches, whereby they serve as personal guides/mentors for people seeking or in recovery from alcohol or other drug addictions and helping to remove barriers and obstacles to recovery. The centre also hosts “all-recovery groups”, AA and NA meetings, Relapse Prevention programmes, Audio/Visual Recovery tapes, games and other leisure activities (to counter those “what shall I do with myself” moments), and offers CCAR Telephone Recovery Support whereby a peer-to-peer calling network is in operation to check-in, lend an ear, and offer support. There’s also the excellent Recovery Housing Database, which has been accessed by over 4000 people since June of this year.

I talked to Delano Smith Jr., who was on the phone trying to set up a job interview, “This place is a godsend”, he said “I don’t know where I’d be without it”. And Fred Richardson, who was manning the reception desk and who’s been in recovery for over 30 years, summed up for me the Centre’s whole approach, “I tends to treat people here much as I would like to be treated myself. I gives to people what I was given: love, respect, compassion and understanding.”


Then it was mad rush back to Saint Frances Hospital, Hartford in time to view the film documentary, Lost in Woonsocket (Woonsocket being an Indian word, apparently, for Wonder Mist, which describes the fine spray from a nearby waterfall in Rhode Island). This critically acclaimed film is about two alcoholics, discovered living together in atrocious and sub-human conditions in the back woods of Woonsocket. A series of profound coincidences lead to a miraculous reunion with their families. “It hurts me to see him like this” said Norman’s son who hadn’t seen him in 15 years. “But unless he’s sober I don’t want anything to do with him.” A chance at treatment ensues, with recovery and redemption in the offering. The real challenge, however, is yet to come. What happens when only one of the men is able to remain sober?

This film is a technical feat. How they managed to capture, let alone make sense of the chaotic behaviour of these two drunks is nothing short of miraculous. And I’m sure that it’ll be a wonderfully effective recovery resource. Indeed, I bought a DVD copy of the film to bring back to Wales.

Less impressive for me, however, was the Q&A session at the end when Norman, one of the “stars” and the one still in recovery after 4 years, was produced like a ‘rabbit out of a hat’ to tumultuous applause from the audience. I couldn’t help feeling for Mark, the drunk who “didn’t quite make it”, and felt uncomfortable that Norman was being built up to be the hero of the piece.

As too often happens with these things, the producers got it wrong. The hero, for me, was Joe, the barber. Joe, in long-term recovery himself from alcoholism, was the man who tidied up both drunks after detox and made them presentable for their treatment in Wilson House, the famous treatment centre. Mark’s father knew the secret of his son’s apparent early recovery: “I think it’s the magic haircut!”

I’m sure that the haircut did play its part. But it was Joe, who administered the haircut, who captivated me. Joe was authentic; he was real and he was true to nature. He was spontaneous; he openly cried on camera so passionate was he to get Mark into recovery. He was angry at his later relapse and he was fun to be around as he felt every imaginable feeling whilst never once taking himself too seriously. Add to this his attractive humility and his verve for life and you have, for me, the essence of Recovery.

Without a doubt, the producers should invite Joe to the after-show Q&A session next time. He’s the real “star” – and, as yet, he’s undiscovered.

Today, Friday 8th October, was my last day at CCAR. I had a long chat with Normajean Cefarelli, CCAR Volunteer and Training Manager, about her work and responsibilities. We discussed recovery too at length, with both of us concluding that vulnerability (risk-taking by lowering the mask and showing people who we really are) and toughening-up (accepting that we are survivors not victims) were necessary bed-fellows if recovery was to flourish.

I then collected my clothes from the launderette, and packed two boxes (with Cheryle’s help) with the books, T-shirts, DVDs, etc I’ve received as gifts since I’ve been in Connecticut and posted them back home. It’s the only way - else I’d be weighed down with all the stuff!

Then I returned my hired car before enjoying lunch with Phil Valentine. My treat this time! We discussed leadership and some of the problems we’ve both had to deal with recently. His quote of the day: “It’s the captain of the ship who has to decide who remains ashore!”

And so, a fortnight has gone by and the 1st stage of my US visit is over. Later, I phoned Mark Ames and arrangements are in place for him to collect me from the rail station in Brattleboro, Vermont, at 5.10pm on Sunday, to begin the 2nd stage of my US visit. Before that, however, I’ve got the Welsh Society lunch in Massachusetts tomorrow (where I’ll hopefully sell some of my books!) and a final few hours spent with the Valentine family on Sunday morning when I’ll get to attend young Mary’s christening ceremony.

What music am I listening to? Nothing tonight, I’m afraid. I’m writing this piece in the hotel lobby as the tables and chairs here are lower and more comfortable than the ones in my room.

Thanks to all the staff at CCAR – for your kindnesses and for making me feel so welcomed. I trust Fate will play her part and ensure that we meet up again soon. I believe that the growth of the Recovery Movement world-wide will dictate that we do.

Cysgwch yn dawel pawb. Good night everyone.