Yesterday, along with some 30 other participants in the Vermont Recovery Coach Academy held at Camp Spofford, New Hampshire, I received my Certificate of Completion. I am now a trained Recovery Coach!
Josephine Romano, one of the facilitators summed up what being a Recovery Coach is all about.
“We raise up the individual’s strengths, talents, passions and interests - because, quite often, we forget them. Then we co-create a vision for the future of what matters for that individual, what their mission is. We then set a goal plan with baby steps along the way on how to get there.
And, as a recovery coach, I support you in getting there. I also support you in keeping you accountable to the steps.
But along the way there are universal habits and patterns of thinking that can prevent you moving on: like procrastination, limited thinking, and feeling like a victim – “That’s good for them - but not for me!” – or simply fear. Fear is a big block.
We take these blocks that come up and coach right through them. We look at how we can think differently about this or that, or what actions we can take to coach through the fear (or whatever the block is) and keep taking the steps to reach the vision.
Recovery Coaching is always about today. It happens in the “now”. We start there and move forward with what’s working well. We don’t go back to try to figure anything out. We co-create as we go along.
Coaching is all about choice. And it‘s all about co-creating a life that works for you – a life that you’ll love.”
I wish to thank Jo and her other two course facilitators, James Henzel and Robin Baldinelli, for all their hard work throughout the 5-days. Thanks also for accepting me onto the course at the very last minute and for making me feel so welcomed. Mark Ames’ hunch that I would benefit from observing this aspect of peer-based recovery at close hand was dead right.
My least comfortable time during the 5 days at Camp Spofford happened when we looked at the section on Power & Prestige under Cultural Diversity. That’s when Rosita, a Puerto Rican, and I, a Welshman, found ourselves at the other end of the room and separated from the rest of the group.
The exercise involved the group of 30 of us standing together in silence at one end of the room and crossing over to the other side when James, the facilitator, called out non-shared ‘values, norms, traditions, customs, art history, folklore and institutions of [us] group of people’. (Orlandi, Weston, & Epstein, 1992.)
My sense of separateness was at its most acute when those who had a first language other than English were asked to cross over to the other side of the room.
In that moment, with just two of us isolated out of the entire group, all the frustrations, the sense of injustice and oppression of belonging to a minority culture came rushing to the fore.
In that moment, I identified with the single mothers, the ones suffering from mental illnesses, those from poor backgrounds, the disabled, etc.
If it felt uncomfortable for me, however, think how it must have felt for Elmer. He was the only black man standing in silence at the other end of the room.
The point had been made though and the lesson learnt. Cultural proficiency is the goal whereby cultural competence is incorporated into every policy, practice and attitude.
I wish to thank Cass for the lift up yesterday from Spofford, New Hampshire to White River Junction, Vermont. It rained cats & dogs the whole way but Cass and I talked about all manner of things and the journey went very quickly.
I had a bit of a panic though when Cass drove off with my laptop still in her boot and I had no means of contacting her. Thanks to Dennis DeLine, pastor at the Winchester Assembly of God church, who was also on the course and whose telephone number I had, I was able to eventually phone Cass and an hour later I was reunited with my computer. Thanks for going those several extra miles, Cass.
My thanks and best wishes also go to Jim MacFarlane and Ken Dattilio, my two room-mates at Camp Spofford. I got to know both and we became firm friends. Isn’t it amazing how quickly friendships are formed when we share with each other at depth and accept our humanness? It was a privilege meeting these two men. And, yes, three grown men were in tears when we said our goodbyes.
My best wishes go to all the other members of the group as well. They’ll make excellent Recovery Coaches. Thanks for your friendships and kindnesses over the past 5 days. And thanks particularly to Ken for sorting out the security of my laptop.
Today (Saturday 16th October) Mark Ames came over to my hotel to take me out for a meal. We went to Hanover in New Hampshire as I fancied going to watch a game of American Football, between Dartmouth and Holy Cross colleges. I’d never seen the game played live before and wanted to try and make sense of a made-for-television sport that baffled me.
Before that, however, we had to sort out my itinerary for next week and it became obvious that I would have to hire a car for my final three days. I had meetings all over the state and Mark was not going to be around because of out-of-state business. I am also intent on going to a meeting in the Wilson House, Bill Wilson’s old home, on my last Friday in Vermont. I had no option really but to hire a car. Unfortunately the Enterprise garage was closed so I’ll have to get up extra early on Monday to arrange the car-hire from Wednesday onwards.
The meal with Mark was lovely and we talked through most of the first half of the football game! In particular we discussed the opposition that has been in some quarters to the idea of peer based recovery systems.
As Mark explained, “The reason that some providers feel it’s a threat is that they haven’t understood that we do different territory. They provide an acute care response to addiction as a disease. We provide a life-time recovery support. Treatment is an event. Recovery lasts a lifetime. That’s why providers need to work together with the recovery services.”
Then as Mark drove off to finish writing a paper for Monday’s Vermont Recovery Network meeting in St Johnbury, I went to watch the 2nd half of the American Football game.
Two college teams vying for supremacy in what looked like a chaotic, nonsensical mêlée of a game with more bodies on and off the field than I’ve ever seen in any other sport. I’d swear there were at least a hundred players on both sides!
Thankfully, I was seated next to John Kettere and his partner, Delilah Sourley. John, a retired doctor and keen fox hunter, understood the game and tried to explain it to me. He was in a difficult position this afternoon though – as an ex Holy Cross scholar and having worked for over 25 years as a gynaecologist and obstetrician at the local 350 bed Dartmouth-Hitchcock medical Centre in Hanover, his loyalties were split. I think deep down though that he favoured Holy Cross. And it was Holy Cross alas that lost. The final score was Dartmouth 26 Holy Cross 19. And do I now understand the game? Well, what do you think!
After the match John and Delilah went out of their way to take me back to my hotel. I’m taken aback by the ongoing kindnesses extended to me on this trip.
The music I’m listening to tonight is: Have a Nice Day (Decade in the Sun Version) by the Stereophonics.
And you have a nice evening as well.
Good night everyone. Nos dawch. Cysgwch yn dawel.
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